I’m at a lost and I don’t know what to do.

I’m not sure if this is the right sub but I just want to be better.

There are multiple things I want advice on.

I’ve always struggled with speaking (I had severe social anxiety as a kid up to high school) It wasn’t until a couple years ago I’ve been able to start to work on it. My anxiety has been a lot better but it still shows up sometimes. Anyway, I don’t know how to speak up, I fumble my words constantly and I struggle to say the right things. I seem to never know what to say. Talking is so incredibly difficult for me. Especially under pressure or overwhelmed. I can never seem to use my words and make things 100x more difficult than it needs to be.

Which leads me to my next problem. I feel incredibly slow and stupid at times. I know for a fact I am a slow person but I want to improve it. I process information incredibly slow and registering information takes forever. It’ll take me seconds to even realize and process what is said or done. My head often feels like there’s nothing going on while having so much going on. It’s unbearable and I feel so dumb and childish. I feel like I need to be told what to do constantly and like I don’t have a mind of my own. I can’t make decisions. Being told intructions or what to do takes me so long to process. Being taught how to drive for example was incredible difficult for me. I couldn’t seem to grasp anything.

I try to think as much as I can, before I make decisions or I try to think about what I’m doing but sometimes my head just goes blank. I feel incredibly stupid and I don’t know why I am the way I am.

I wouldn’t consider myself stupid or unintelligent but being so slow and being unable to speak properly makes me feel like it.

I am a pretty healthy person aside from my eating habits. My confidence is not too great but I don’t hate myself. There are just certain traits that I want to get rid of and change.

I’m at a lost and I want to improve myself as fast as I can. I’m not sure what to do.