got blocked from r/gay bc they “didn’t think i was real”… what??

is it not okay to be an artist and support body positivity? can i not be weird and shirtless and still be a real person? is it actually that hard to believe someone like me exists?

i’m honestly still kinda stunned and hurt by this.

i posted a pic of me smiling with my shirt off — looking sexy, yeah — but because for the first time in forever i actually felt sexy. and happy. and alongside it i shared a really personal post about surviving abuse and trying to feel good in my body again.

and r/gay blocked me.

they even messaged me saying the way i posed and the comments made it feel inauthentic. like they didn’t think it was real.

but this is real. this is my real life. my real body. my face. my words. and if you check my profile — my instagram is there, my photography site, everything. i’m not hiding. i’m not a bot. i’m literally just trying to be seen and tell the truth.

yes i have an OnlyFans. yes i post sexy stuff sometimes. but this wasn’t that. i started OF bc i was in a horrible place and my friends dared me to do it to help me feel wanted again. they said reddit might help too. and honestly, it did for a little while. i started to feel like maybe my body wasn’t something to be ashamed of.

i grew up mormon. i was taught to hide myself. i used to be embarrassed of my body hair, my big nipples, my moles, my freckles… even the fact that i have 3 balls. but i’ve worked hard to undo that shame. and that post was me trying to own my body. to say “i’m healing. i’m proud.”

so yeah, i smiled in the post. i looked good. and suddenly that made it fake?

we say we care about authenticity, body positivity, queer healing — but when someone actually shows up with all of that, raw and messy and real, it’s too much?

i’m not even mad. i’m just heartbroken. i thought i was posting something that might help someone else who’s been through it. instead i got blocked and made to feel like my story didn’t belong.

but it does. i do.

i’m still here. still weird, still hairy, still healing. still a soft-hearted, messy, ex-mormon daddy trying to love his body out loud.

and yeah. this one stung.