I 21M have figured out my feelings for this girl 24F, how can i deal with this?

The story is long, for about 6 months we have been effectively dating, it's my first time in a proper relationship and I'm not blaming it all of this thing, I have a huge portion of blame for not being able to tell my feelings from the start so I've always been unsure and hesitant. Of course this has made her doubt me and to be fair i was also doubting myself so she decided to "beak up". Another important point is that after the first couple of months i started to develop anxiety with her (pretty much only with her) and i would get nervous to the point of feeling sick and vomiting especially when we got into serious discussions. This has created even more anxiety for me as, of course, i don't want to vomit when i see her but it has made me doubt myself even more as the worry took pretty much 90% of my mind all the time. I understand this sounds awful and to that you might say "just move on" but i can't stop thinking about her, i want to hold her, and see her smile again. I just wish to make her happy and i know i can do it. After this week apart i figured that i do want to be with her, regardless of my anxiety. I came to this conclusion also because I've been trying to change, as she told my many things about me, and how i "loved" that hurt me but were right. I've been taking an intrest in videos about philosophy and love trying to figure out if my wiew of life is distorted by inexperience and just my own education. To put it short, I've been trying to change, to become someone better, for her and for everyone else, aswell for myself because I don't like who i was and still kind of am. I know it takes time to change, a week is not enough to rewire your brain to be able to view the world upside down even if it's the right thing so i know i still have my flaws but i miss her so much. I don't know what to do, i want to text her and explain what i feel but it's the second time we have this week long break (happened 2 months ago) and that time i also came back saying i wanted her so i would understand if she believes im lying. I also don't want to hurt her again as my anxiety probably comes from that, especially at the start of the relationship i was pretty harsh in my ways of speaking and i hurt her feelings a lot. I know that probably from the outside it seems like i should really let go but i feel like i would be making a mistake, i don't want to loose her.