I just want a boyfriend so I have my own personal fidget toy

This probably sounds weird but I'm lowkey jealous that men were born with their own personal fidget toy that they can just hold in their hands and play around whenever they want.

I dont have a bf but if I did I hope he lets me use his penis whenever I'm bored or stressed so I can play around and squeeze it like a stress ball 💀

I have this fantasy that him and i are cuddled up in my room watching a movie and I have my hand underneath the blankets into his pants the whole time, just sensually playing around and exploring his penis and balls, maybe occasionally getting under the covers to give it a kiss and taste.