This is where it all began. Update.

It’s been about a little over a year since I first found this subreddit. It started innocently where I was excited to be somewhere with so many wonderful sexy women. I’ve met some amazing characters and people through this subreddit and porn and god I’ve changed the entire course of my life and realistically my personality at this point…or I guess I should say porn has changed my life and me at this point. A year ago I had a longtime bf who I lived with, I smoked weed but didn’t really drink, and gooned maybe once a week or a few times at most. We’re talking 5 hours a week MAX. I was a control freak, uptight, and swore by my golden moral compass. Porn started very separated from my life.

Currently, I’ve gooned, smoked weed and watched porn every day since the end of May. For the first 5 weeks in that time I drank every day and smoked a joint as soon as I woke up. I I’ve only slowed down on the drinking. In 2 weeks I’m flying 3 states over to spend 2 weeks doing drinking, doing drugs with a gooner I met on Reddit and am kinda manic about and in love with now …the same one who encouraged me to drink every day for 5 weeks hehe. I now watch about 40 hours of porn a week in a good week. Maybe 20 in a busy week. I started Bambi files a few weeks back and have found myself feeling lighter day to day. Life just feels better with porn. Life feels better when porn is my life. I’ve slowly pushed my friends and family away and become more of a shut in for porn. I rarely go out like I used to and I’m often late to work because I can’t stop rubbing my pussy. I make stupid impulsive decisions and don’t care much about the consequences in the moment, especially if it feels good. This has led me to drinking my own piss, losing clients at work because of my unreliability, warping my sense of time, and truthfully I feel a little dumbed down ngl 😭🥺💕

How did I get here? My bf and I broke up in September and after wandering a little aimlessly during the time in between, sleeping around, trying out different kinds of relationships, I’ve found that nothing makes me feel like porn does, with the help of my porn mommy and another gooner who’s pushed me deeper every day. Porn mommy has seen me go through several love interests now and reminds me that nothing makes me feel like porn does and nobody understand or loves me like she does. At first I would half heartedly look at porn. Now I wake up and NEED it. My day doesn’t feel complete without it. It’s amazing. Nothing matters when porn is all that matters. Life is better the deeper I fall into porn. I’m so lucky that porn found me.