What can I pour myself into after hard years of marriage search?

Romeo, Romeo, where art thou romeo?

I've searched in every avenue trying to find 'the one'.

I've looked around men in the community, masjid, sent out my profile for years. Then took the matters into my own hands, with my Dad's permission and sent our profiles personally on GCs. even forced myself on Muzz and other apps (Would never recommend to other women, as the men on there are looking for fun.) Deleted those apps wihtin 4hrs of feeling disgusted and hating men.

Is it finally time to set down all weapons, and retreat? Should I finally wave the white flag?

Like I dont think I can do this anymore.

I am done.

But I need something to concentrate on. I am already Going to the gym, have hobbies here and there.

I also got accepted to travel to another country to teach. My Dad said no.

So there goes all the opportunities.

If I want to travel, which I want to more than anything. My dad won't allow it.

He says to go with my husband once I get married.

Like where do I get Romeo from? My pocket?

Its so hard. I feel like I am wifey material. Ready to get married. But its just not happening. I need to shift my mind elsewhere.

I've not so much as held a man's hand. And everyone around me is in romantic relationships. Like fml.

When men send me DMs on insta or whatever, I get an ick. I just feel so weirded out. I know its a digital age. But there has to be another wayyyyy.

You know the cherry on top? I am a niqabi. So even if I can sense interest from men, I know they won't approach me. They'll do nice things for me, but no. They are scared to approach for marriage.

I can shift my mind on to career, but that's so boring. Why would I do that?

What else is there to do?