I feel like I’m failing at everything, and I don’t know how to stop.

I don’t even know how to explain this. I’m stuck in this loop of knowing I’m not doing things right but still not being able to do better. I know I should be studying. I know I’m wasting time. I know I’m falling behind. But I feel so numb most of the time that I can’t even push myself to care anymore.

And the worst part? I’ve already given up on so much. I’ve cut myself off from people. I stay home while others go out and enjoy their teenage life. I don’t have strong friendships. Most people I talk to are only there when it’s convenient for them. I feel unwanted. Left out. Like I’m always watching from the outside.

I thought if I sacrificed all of that, at least I’d be doing well in my studies. But I’m not. I can’t focus. I sit with my books for hours, but nothing really goes in. And then I feel guilty. So guilty. Because my parents are trying their best to support me. And I’m just… stuck. Disappointing them. Disappointing myself.

Sometimes I just lie down and feel like crying, but I can’t even do that properly. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like I’m losing time and chances and parts of myself I can’t get back.

I don’t know if anyone else has ever felt like this. But if you have, how did you get through it?