My Family Is All I Need (also I hate fake friends)

From my perspective, I always tried in the past to be friends with girls but it seemed like a 1 way window, I’d listen to them and give them what I think but when it came to me talking about anything they would just try and shut it down or not really show any interest in what I was talking about, so it got to a point where I just felt better talking to myself. I don’t think girls are all the same, but I feel like they don’t really like me in general.

I never really had a REAL girlfriend, like one that I like and they like me back. Their was a time my “friends” wanted me to get with this one girl but I didn’t like her like that and just thought of her as a cool person but my friends wanted me to date her and didnt respect my decision but I didn’t want that but the girl did. She never really loved me she was just obsessed with me, She only wanted my body and only used me for coping.

Before I made the decision to get with this girl I had a moment I’ve never had before and it was a mental breakdown, I was telling my friends I didn’t want to get with her but they wanted to use religion against me talking about “Dude I’m telling you God trying to show you this is the one and you just need to give it a chance” I was in tears still when I said I didn’t want to get with her but they said I should give it a chance and it seemed like she was the one so I guess I can give it a shot.

Those people were narcissistic, manipulative, and such judgmental people, they were the ones who brought me the path of God but the way they were trying to make example every time was just them using the Bible against people, I didn’t know it was wrong because they knew more than me so I listened but when I did my own studying I found out a lot of they were doing and saying was so hypocritical.

Every time I would point out a wrong they were saying they would just try and tell me I’m wrong and just saying the Devil getting a hold of me and it seemed like nonsense. They really messed up my head so I had to get distant but they knew i cared for them so they tried to use everything against me to try and get me back and say it’s my fault. THEY NEVER EVEN SAID FUCKING SORRY, They said “oh yeah that’s my fault that’s the one and only time I messed up” LIKE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY BRO ITS NOT THAT HARD…..

I started to ghost them but they occasionally once in awhile when they get bored they will text me or call me and I’ll just play it off but before I ghosted them I told one of them how I was feeling and they were just trying to use excuses and put me in the wrong so I told him everything he did wrong and how I felt and what fucked up things he said and did, but even with all of what I said he still couldn’t even take responsibility (I apologize if my grammar isn’t too well here, I just wanted to say this out loud).

They act like they care but they don’t, I took care one of these motherfuckers, I gave him a home to stay, I used to pick him up and drop him off to school, I GOT HIM A FUCKING PS5 FOR HIS BIRTHDAY AND HE COULDNT EVEN REMEMBER MINE………..It’s so funny how people work in this world but sometimes arguing with brick walls isn’t always the best solution, it’s just best to let them figure it out.

I got completely off track here I’m sorry the main part of this was about me not being with a girl for the rest of my life and I went ahead and talked about how horrible these guys were lol but back to what I was saying-

The only people that could understand me is my best friend I’ve know my whole life and my mom. I’m not trying to sound depressing but I think I’ll be alright just focusing on college and getting my life together and when I finally worked off for my dreams I’m just gonna spend all my time with my family and enjoy everything I built in my life. Most guys have their own goals on finding the right wife but for me that just isn’t something that I see coming.

The way how I view things is, as long as I have someone that cares for me as much as I care for them then I don’t think I need to find a girl really. Love is all I want and I get that from my mom and my best friend. Some may say my choice is silly but I realized it doesn’t matter what people say anymore because it’s my life not theirs. Don’t get me wrong I’ve always longed for a loving and caring wife but not everyone can get what they want right lol.