i wish i could have a better life where i wouldn't get bpd

I definitely know the reason why i have it... I grew up in an abusive household. every single day of my childhood was a nightmare. since i born. So I'm no surprised that i have bpd now. But it's still so unfair. That i have to deal with so many consequences now. That my trauma shaped me as a person. That i have bpd and sometimes it could be very hard cause that's literally a personality disorder so... Everytime i ask the world why it happened with me. Why everyone around was more lucky to get a better childhood and i lose that lottery since i was born... Rn there's a chance that a person who was abusive towards me might be dead. Maybe not today but one day they would die. And i think about it often. What I'm gonna do. The person who ruined my life would just die. And im here left with my pain and trauma.. I don't know how to deal with that. How to forget my past and try to live a more happy life rn where im safe now.