Staying submissive when life is chaotic with toddlers

I (30f) have really started to struggle with getting in touch with my submissive side now that our kids are toddlers and life is so hectic. I have felt like submission is most effortless when life is slow enough for it but there are no breaks right now. I can’t slow down my nervous system enough to feel like surrendering to him is safe and it’s difficult to not control things. My mind is still running from the day. We have tried 24/7 but this lifestyle doesn’t allow it so I try to submit in the evenings but it’s hard. Anybody else struggling with this or has somebody found something that could help to shift the energy?