I (30 F) my BF (30 M) and I need advice to navigate what I feel or what I should do..

Hi Im ‘30 F’ sorry this is a long post I guess I just need to get this off my chest, and I think I need advice on how to navigate what I'm feeling? And what I may do? I am in along term relationship 11years, and we are in a LDR, I know he doesn't cheat, he only play games when he gets home and go to conventions. for the past 2years I feel lost in our relationship, we are getting old and he don't have any plans on settling down, last year I asked whats his plan for the future, he have plans for the future with his mom, which is nice i also value my family so much, but something in me felt so sad because he didn't mention anything about us, i don't expect marriage but was hoping for something for us. I kind of started to feel distant to him and seeing my friends how they are treated by their BF makes me hope he is something like that too, as simple As picking me up at work or initiate a date not just on malls. I don’t know I feel im being too shallow. I’ve always been the stronger one with stronger personality in friends, work, and our relationship i think, but thats because I have to, my family and friends havent seen me emotionally weak, and my career requires me to have a strong personality. So maybe I was looking for someone i can lean on? But I see now how he’s been always passive, I dont mind it before. But facing recent challenges, makes me want him to step up somehow I feel tired.

Im not going to be hypocrite because recently i feel guilty that i do feel attracted to some guys that treats me nicer I mean, I see that they are the ones to lead, I see them as a man that I think I can lean on and they offer help. Nothing happened yet but i feel attracted thats why i feel guilty because I know he doesn't cheat. Yet he has low EQ and I feel I am the man in the relationship.

Recently I somehow initiated a fight, i initiated this because this has been to me a long standing issue i feel we dont communicate well, and he did something i got irritated, its shallow he worked abroad and suddenly he messaged me he is at their home. He didnt tell me he is coming home to think we just talked the night before. I saw this as an opportunity to see how he will resolve the issue, and to tell him how I feel, and i want to feel something, part of me want him to show up or at least be responsible and comfort me, But he chose to be quiet he didnt reply to me all night. And the next morning he messaged as if its nothing, and there is no hanging conversation the night before. It happened twice now and he still did the same he chose to ignore the situation.

TL;DR Now i feel so bad, I want to end everything, but we are already 11 years now, we know each others family. But i feel if as simple as an argument like this he chose not to do anything, then whats going to be when we have larger issues. Am i over reacting or silly? A part of me knows what to do at the same time, I feel lost and dont know what to do.