His new PFP

It’s been 5 months since the discard. The no caller ids stopped coming thank goodness and I stopped looking for reason on why he did this.

I knew he was never going to grow up when he would still did people dirty at this grown age of 27 ( trusted smoke shop guy said to rain check him and he now avoids the store) .

The whole 3 almost 4 years we were together he drained me and I felt guilty that I felt this way but it was constant of my whereabouts ( had my location ), needing my attention 24/7 even at work and when I wouldn’t satisfy through text he would want to come to my work, which is fine ! I would love for him to do it so everyone can see my man I brag about all the time. I just wished he did this popping up when he didn’t start to belittle me by call me dumb and slapping me.

For all those years I ran to him to comfort him and love him to make him feel love, secured and seen in the relationship. I brushed my feelings to the side and prioritized his because he always mentioned his past girlfriends always did him dirty. I always thought some guys don’t get to feel vulnerability or safety so I wanted to be that for him, it was never reciprocated from him.

I was in school for nursing and he always bragged that “my wife is going to be a nurse” and that I’ll make so much that he can be a stay at home dad and be a streamer ( honestly forgot but something at home ) … When I mentioned he’d be working too and we’d BOTH make a lot of money for our future kids he got upset ? He was even planning to get married after I graduated nursing school and THEN I was to take his last name…

When we talked about kids ( he brought up having them ) I said after we travel for a bit and get a place where we both feel comfortable raising them and have our school done then we can start popping them out. He mentioned that they’ll help me as in the state like yes they would but do you know how much a baby cost to support ? Not only that the emotional support? He would always question if I loved him because of this he knew how much I loved him he sat right in my big heart cozied up and HE KNEW THIS. I just was not willing to put a baby on the line because I already felt alone in that relationship.

In October 2024 I felt something off but I felt like this was my best friend and lover of 3 years he’ll sure bring it up ? If he isn’t shy asking for money/ sx he surely wouldn’t be shy to tell him girlfriend of ALMOST FOUR YEARS that theres a problem right? Anyways he cheated and dumped me in April 2025 saying we both need to better ourselves and to separate I cried of course but understood. I think he got upset the first time we broke it off because I agreed so lightly that he came back but left again then publicly flaunting a letter on IG. I since then deleted IG and made a whole new one ( I really didn’t want no part of him anymore he took a good portion of my love and time ) and blocked him.

I was telling my aunt recently about him and she wanted to see who he was so told her and she showed me his pfp to confirm and he looks so miserable :(

His eyes are so tired and exhausted but he’s smiling . I do miss this boy so much I just wish he would’ve treated me right and not be a my way or no way type.

I just want to hug him and tell him everything is going to be fine and we’ll get through this but he chose to have me out of his life so this is where I will reside. I am not a side part I am whole so nut up or shut up :p