Worse DPDR,memory loss and increased suicidal thoughts?

im on day 35 10mg escitalopram, taken every day anywhere between 7am and 1pm depending on when i wake up, 90% of the time it's at 8am exactly.

i had (still working on it) a problem with drug and alcohol abuse before starting Lexapro, went sober cold turkey for a month to make sure it didn't interfere with Lexapro.

However as of maybe 5-7 days ago, ive just had non stop issues with suicidal thoughts, memory loss, and major depersonalisation. It feels like a bad trip with ego death, no point in anything if im imagining it all up, etc.

also the memory issues im at a point where i can't remember if a dream actually happened, or if it was a dream, i can't remember what i did yesterday, the day before, what i have to do this weekend, etc. i have literally started writing down notes about everything otherwise i forget

wondering if this is normal for week 5-6? should i go down to 5mg? go up to 20mg?