Representation of autism in HR heroines

For a bit of context, I am an autistic woman, also I’m sure this is also the case with other books, but HR is my niche so that’s all I’m aware of.

I’ve been reading HR for a few years now, and I’ve noticed that a lot of the deliberately autistic FMCs present with stereotypically male autistic traits - it feels very much as though the author has read the DSM-5 and gone with the (literal) textbook definition, rather than researching more typical female presenting traits. Obviously there are many woman with typically ‘men’s traits’, but it’s frustrating that almost all of the representation does not actually represent the majority of women with autism. The most obvious example that comes to mind is {convergence of desire by Felicity Niven}. I actually DNFed a few months ago because of just how stereotypically male Harry’s autism seemed, but I’m back for a second attempt!

Honestly, one of the reasons HR appeals to me so much is because I think I would do quite well in regency/victorian society. Obviously I would not want to live in that time, but having strict but clearly set out social rules that women were taught from childhood seems almost better for me, as an obstinate rule-follower.

That being said, I just wanted to get my rant out and possibly ask for any recommendations that are similar!