Is this normal?

Is feeling lost, or like I'm being tugged in two different directions, normal in this process of recovery? Like I have the urge to follow one path, and then I have the urge to follow the opposite, and back again?

I have learned that it may be my mind and body thinking it knows what it wants while I'm trying to steer it the other direction. I know recovery is never linear. It just sucks having a high, then a low, then a high, then a low, then a high, then a low.

I just want peace. That's all I want. Peace with myself and to be able to see clearly without guilt or shame.