CMV: I am concerned that dating now could corrupt me as much as it seems to have corrupted many others. Please either assure me otherwise or offer a means to get my current thoughts on the record in a way my future self can’t erase

In my early teen years, I thought not only that dating was a good thing but that teenage dating was a good thing.

My first indication otherwise was hearing of “dead broke dads” and the fact that the law makes no distinction between a GF who claimed before sex she’d keep the baby if the condom broke and one who said she wouldn’t, not even for the purposes of having the state pay the costs until he’s done college. Tipped the balance from probably worth it to probably not.

Second indication otherwise was the fact that those who support that status quo are some of the same people who say “vasectomy or abstinence.” For teenagers. Somehow I doubt they practiced what they preach. Same people would consider asking teenage girls to get tubal ligations monstrous anyway.

Third indication otherwise was the fact that people like these use “virgin” as an insult anyway, as if biased against the possibility that these risks could deter someone. You can’t call males the hornier sex without both sexes insinuating women must find you unattractive. You can’t call males the less picky sex without both sexes insinuating the same. Even though if either of these are true, it takes an exception to point it out in the first place, for anyone else would be too desperate to stay in their GF’s good graces to point it out.

If the goal were to weed out either the least trusting of males or the least willing to feign trust; which I have a feeling it was; then that cannot be a good thing. If it were, people would have defended trust the first time, instead of dancing around it with talk of vasectomies in one’s teen years of all things. Trust and the desire to be trusted are vices, not virtues or morally neutral traits.

Incidentally, the real pattern in who has a GF doesn’t appear to be in tall vs short or skinny vs fat (indeed, there’s been many insults against each opposite pair of such traits), it’s the degree of kowtowing to womens’ views on gender issues. The willingness to kowtow to a court of public opinion that’s been wrong before. The willingness to kowtow to said status quo on child support law. The willingness to kowtow to women’s opposition to mandatory paternity testing. Love is indeed a drug, but I suspect the price of that is what people will do to get their fix.

I am at a crossroads now where I am years behind most guys on dating, but at least look years younger than I am. (My colleagues at a past job were even surprised at my virginity when they asked about my “first time.” Which kind of reflects the aforementioned biases.) It’s now or never.

But absent either reassurance I am not going to be as corrupted by this as others, or that I could get my current stance out there in a way my future self can’t erase, the answer might have to be “never.” I don’t know if I should be the designated driver in a world high on love. :/