AITAH for always asking my boyfriend who told him something, who he was with, or who told him to do certain things?

My boyfriend and i have been together for a while, and we have very different communication styles. i tend to be open and direct. So when he says something that surprises me or makes me uncomfortable, i usually ask things like “who told you that?”, “who were you with?”, “who asked you to do that?” or sometimes, when i feel really insecure, when he's quite, i'd ask “do you like someone else?”

He says it feels like i’m accusing him of something, even if i’m not. He hates those kinds of questions and says they make him feel attacked or distrusted. He’s told me many times that it makes him uncomfortable and that it’s not okay for me to keep asking those things.

i get that, and i’ve tried to explain where i’m coming from. i don’t ask to accuse or control him. Most of the time, it’s just me trying to understand or stay close. Sometimes i ask because i feel left out or disconnected, and hearing the context helps me feel included. i know my tone can be emotional sometimes, and that’s something i’m working on.

There was also a period when he told me i wasn’t really his type, and that really crushed my confidence. After that, i started feeling even more insecure and sometimes reacted in ways i’m not proud of like asking if he liked someone else, even without evidence. i wasn’t trying to fight, i just wanted reassurance but didn’t know how to ask for it in a healthy way.

Lately, i’ve been trying to communicate more calmly. But even when i ask gently, it still triggers the same defensive response. He says it feels like i don’t trust him. So now i feel like i can’t ask anything without upsetting him even basic questions about where something came from or who was involved.

i care about him, and i don’t want to make him feel bad. But i also feel like i can’t fully express myself or be curious without being treated like i’m accusing him. So, AITA for continuing to ask those kinds of questions, even if i don’t mean them in a negative way?