No matter what happens, it will be a mediocre life

I been having ideations of suicide for a long time, but these weeks things have been so much harder.

I realized that my life will just be an endless loop of waking up, working, sleeping and then continue on and on and on. No satisfaction, just because im obligated to live a life i didnt want.

I have the ability to say that I don't want any of this, i have the ability to end it all and reject this purposeless life at any moment.

And i just might.