The licensing board is arguing I'm not a doctor because I made up my credentials, what the hell do they think "doctoring" is?

They keep telling me I'm not allowed to see any patients, but I've told them a half dozen times, I don't have any patience. Super aggravating. Anyways, if anyone is familiar with some way I can use the scientific method against these nerds let me know. I want to beat them at their own game, and save my practice. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.