I tried to come out as trans at age 11 or so, and was met with the “it’s just a phase” speech from my parents.

The next ten years I fell into a deep dissociation, depersonalized from my body and the people around me, I became very unstable and unhealthy. Expressing queerness and femininity always had to be portrayed as “a bit” so that I would not be bullied and ridiculed again. 

Well at 23, after getting sober, moving out of my toxic town, and finding support from my friends and loved ones, while also meeting a few trans people along the way, it just clicked that I was no longer bound by the constraints that kept me from doing something about those feelings, and I decided it was, in fact, time to do something about it… 

The last 7 months have been the best rollercoaster I’ve ever ridden. My name change is in the works, I changed careers and found my new coworkers respecting me in a way I never thought possible, and I’m proud to say that I’ve been finally going out with friends, to support groups, and preforming / sharing my music…

Puberty is hard for everyone, but being in my early 20’s definitely allows me to rationalize the peaks and troughs and make it much more manageable than as a kid in my opinion. That, and obviously, the fact that this time, I’m developing the way I wished I had the first go around. 

I still live in America, and in the Bible Belt no less. I hear bigotry in the streets on occasion and read about it in legislation even more so, but like a moth to a flame, no perceived threat could pull me from this clarity at this point… 

Thanks for reading, while the physical differences may be minute at this point, I’ve never been more present and elated in mundane moments than I am now, and I’m finally excited for next month… 

1 year since EGG cracked (again) (7mo. HRT)