Am I dying, or is this world ending , or have I grown too accustomed to pain?

I failed again, 3 barsa besi waste gari sake maile esma, my friends have moved forward to place I can't even dream of anymore. I know very well comparison is a thief to a joy but I don't have a single joyful event, it's been three years. I failed again. I failed again. I keep remindingyself but I was feeling bad instantly but I feel empty now

Now I don't feel a single thing. What the hell is this emptiness. My motivation died yet another time and that's it. Idk what to do anymore and that's it. This was major failure of my life but I can't even cry. 😶

Am I dying or something? I'm seriously so scared of this hollowness. Is this how pain works? Sakkida samma ma khokro vaisakchu?