Abyss

Healing comes in waves.

Uneven. Unexpected. Unpredictable.

Some days I feel myself again. It’s easier to smile.

I marvel at our ocean, reminisce for a while.

How safe I felt within your depth, how warm the water seemed.

We sank together, lost at sea… adrift in tender dreams.

Unknown. Unafraid. Unreal.

Other days I lay on my kitchen floor, unwilling to move an inch.

Envying the dust bunnies that lurk beneath my fridge.

They make hiding look so easy, tucked safely out of sight.

Dirty, hidden secrets… never seen in the light.

Unbothered. Unbroken. Unharmed.

But I am not a dust bunny.

I am just a girl who loved the wrong boy.

I was your plaything. A fantasy. A temporary toy.

I was a girl who was starving, your words were a feast.

But I was the one chewed up by tenderness with teeth.

Unseen. Unclaimed. Unloved.

Silly girl. Silly me.

I dove into this ocean without learning how to swim.

I knew nothing of these waters or the secrets hidden within.

I refused to heed the warnings written in the sand.

I chose your ocean over safety, over myself, over land.

Until I paused. Until I thought. Until I decided.

I will not let myself drown here. This ocean will not win.

I can breathe under water. I can turn my love within.

And maybe this is strength, or just broken‑hearted spite…

But I refuse to hide amidst dust bunnies.

I will not wither in your darkness. I will stomp into the light.

I am unbroken. I am unending. I am unleashed.

My feet will find the sand, soon. It is closer than they think.

I can walk out of this ocean, knowing it was just knee‑deep.

There is no shortcut to this healing. Just a long swim to shore.

This puddle cannot hold me here. I am worth so much more.

I am deeper than your depth. I am scarier than the darkness.

I am too much for shallow water. I am healing. I am boundless.

I am the abyss.