Individual therapy

I started IC, today was session 3. My therapist said she would be working primarily under a CBT model. Today we went over a list of common negative thought patterns and I was to point out which ones resonated with me and maybe offer examples.

It was fine. It seems like a good enough system for therapy.

But honestly I walked away from it feeling so lonely.

Ive only told two friends about the affair. Neither live nearby. One is pregnant and has a bunch of other happy milestones happening and the other has her own shit going on as well plus lives in a different time zone.

I have no one to just…talk to. To hammer through all the details until I feel confident in my decisions. I guess I was hoping to get that from therapy. And maybe it will eventually be like that.

But today it felt more like a lesson I was sitting in class learning about.

Which again, is fine.

I just feel lonely.

My WH is always there to listen and I am definitely leaning on him, but obviously thats complicated because he created the issue to begin with and has a vested interest in my decisions/the outcome.

Just venting. This sub makes me feel less alone. Thanks for reading.