Grama love denied

Growing up, my 1st born daughter was my pride and joy, so much that I now realize I did my 2nd daughter an injustice. Raising them in middle class suburbia, had many advantages, both were loved and respected. No drugs, no alcohol, no trouble, close neighborhood & solid friends. 2 good working parents who spent a lot of time with them and doing family activities. They were given things that we the parents, didn’t get growing up in the 60,s. They went to great colleges and became adults that I’m proud to have in our society. Very strong bond with 1st daughter! Now that 1st daughter won’t have anything to do with us. We no longer fit in her world. Her mental health slowing deteriorated after her 1st child was born. It only worsened with baby #2. It’s been a rollercoasters for 6 yrs. And now I’ve pushed off the ride! Worst thing is her selfishness, she has taken away the love we have with our 2 grand children. Mostly , we believe because of her jealousy over the fact that daughter #2 lives with us and she is no longer in the spotlight, shall we say. Please help me understand.