A year after the betrayal, we’re still co-parenting [30f and 30m] under the same roof, and I feel stuck

A year ago, my [32F] life flipped upside down.

I was 8 months pregnant, up late at the kitchen table trying to get through my nursing studies. The house is only quiet after everyone’s asleep, so that’s when I get a couple of hours to review. I’m a slow study and like to learn through illustrations, so I’ll take little 10-min breaks to listen to a Reddit story or watch a short vid.

One night, around 3 a.m., during one of those breaks, I picked up my partner Evan’s [32M] phone. I honestly didn’t expect to find anything. We’d had issues before—like when I found dating apps—but I thought we were past that. I just wanted that little instant reassurance that everything was fine before my final A&P exam the next morning.

Instead, I found a secret folder. Inside were:

• Two videos of him getting “special services” at a massage parlor
• Screenshots of some of my family members’ profile pictures
• Hidden footage of my mom, Carla**, in the privacy of my bathroom**

My heart dropped. I sat there in the dark, 8 months pregnant, shaking and heartbroken, wondering how I was supposed to get through my exam in a few hours. It wasn’t just cheating—it felt like a betrayal of my family and my home. He sexualized people I love and kept the evidence like trophies.

I remember thinking: Who can I even tell? If my small circle knew everything, bridges would burn. My dad, my brother, my mom—no one would see him the same. I didn’t even know if I wanted to unload all of this or just keep it buried so I could survive my pregnancy.

Fast forward a year later… and nothing has really changed. We’ve been co-parenting under the same roof this whole time. We function enough to take care of Maya [4f] and the baby, but we haven’t moved forward at all. There’s no romance, no real trust. I carry the same heaviness I felt that night, just… quieter now.

I’ve had almost no outside perspective because I haven’t shared the full story with anyone. Some days I feel numb, other days I get hit with that same heartbreak and anger like it’s brand new. I keep wondering if I’m waiting for something to magically change, or if I’m just too scared to take the next step.

I feel stuck.