Should I just kill myself at this point?

My friends do not care about me, I’ve never have a girlfriend nor romantic experiences. Probably because there is very high change I am highly neurodivergent. I always make weird mannerism or do things without realizing, do actions without realizing. Only my parents point it out, I’ve become extremely self-aware every-time now and have to constantly watch my movements or the way I talk, the way that I socialize. I just want to be normal, have relationships and have friends whom care about me. I just want to be normal, and be less socially anxious.