[NC] Coworker threatened me at work, got arrested, and HR/management is hesitant to fire them

Location: North Carolina

Hi, my partner and I work together and there’s been a coworker who multiple people have come forward about (SH, bullying, racism, mobbing, etc). While at work, I had a verbal altercation with this coworker that resulted in her threatening me by saying she knows where I live and heavily implying she’d send her family to my house. Since this incident, my partner and I have been the ones initiating every meeting with HR to update them about the situation (I pressed charges and she got arrested for communicating threats).

HR has us working alternating days to keep us away from the coworker who made the threat. I mentioned a no contact order once and now HR keeps asking me about it whenever we meet. Initially, HR and management told me a no contact order would only make one of us switch shifts, but in my most recent meeting, HR was asking me the difference between a restraining order and No Contact Order and what the stipulations of each would be. I’m hesitant to do a no contact order now because I fear retaliation from this coworker because I feel HR will use the no contact order as their reason for firing them.

One day, my partner went to HR alone to update them. My partner said HR told him that they were still trying to come up with a solution for the coworker - “unless she quits and finds something else”. However , once he mentioned that a warrant had been issued for their arrest, HR appeared confused and told him they didn’t know what to do if the worker actually got arrested.

My most recent meeting with HR was actually initiated by HR because I told my partner that we were no longer going to be initiating updates. HR called me in and asked me if I had gotten a no contact order (I had not). I informed HR that the coworker had been arrested and HR said they knew because the coworker “was in here telling me yesterday”. I also informed them that the coworker was harassing me outside of work via third parties (coworker somehow figured out who my mother was and had her family contact my mother to relay messages to me). HR told me they couldn’t do anything about that cause it was happening outside of work.

A few details:

• HR is one person, but I’m trying to give as little details as possible to protect my identity -this coworker is black, over 40, and the last three people who have been fired in the past 15 months have been black -I am half black -a previous supervisor had been let go for communicating threats outside of work -a previous coworker had been let go for sexually harassing another coworker outside of work -my jobs’ business code of conduct says threats of violence will not be tolerated -I have a recording of the threat my coworker made and HR/management have heard it and have a copy of the recording -During the initial meeting after the threat, my partner said our manager was on their phone the entire time during the meeting and said it felt unprofessional and like it wasn’t being taken serious -sometime last year, this coworker threatened to slap a coworker in front of a manager, who then turned around in disbelief, but nothing was done about it -after an investigation a few months ago concerning this coworkers ‘ behavior, there were no meetings or signs put up prohibiting things that were “investigated”, such as bullying, mobbing, SH, threats of violence etc. -I had to go to HR about a month ago because this coworker threw a tantrum because she didn’t like the job she got assigned to and took that opportunity to loudly berate my partner and I all night because she felt my partner should have been assigned to that job instead of her. HR told me not to go home, even though I was visibly upset and crying, and to ignore it for the night and that management would pull the coworker aside before our shift started the next day. HR even made an odd statement saying ,”Who knows? Maybe they will quit and find them something else” when I said that coworker was threatening to quit. All night , I had to act like I didn’t hear this coworker making unprofessional comments about my partner and I and it was degrading. I did overhear coworker saying they’d slap me as well. I was not called for a follow up and it seems like management’s solution was to let coworker have their way.
  -the threat was made on July 18th and the coworker is still employed as of today (August 5th). -We are looking for a new job, just want to have one lined up before we quit

So I posted this in two legal subreddits, but I added more details and I kind of have an idea of what my next steps are. However, I wanted to post this here to ask if this is normal HR behavior because it all feels sloppy to me and it’s almost as if HR/management is protecting this coworker. Is HR holding off on firing either of us because we’re in a protected class? Does it seem like HR is trying to see which of us quits first? Also, should the alternating days off agreement be in writing?