I stood tall by him for 13 years yet he left without a second thought . I still love him. What could I have done differently? F31 M33

Hi everyone, I’m 31F and wanted to share something deeply personal with those of you who know how heavy love can feel in your 30s especially when it doesn't end with closure.

I was in a relationship since 2012 with my boyfriend (M33). We were together until 2016 and then managed a long-distance relationship until Jan 2025. US & India. Despite the odds, we made it work beautifully. There was love, effort, and a shared dream for the future.

He had been estranged from his family for years due to emotional and financial exploitation. When he lost his job in the US, he moved to India to be with me, and we planned to get married. I truly believed this was our time. Wanting the best for him, I encouraged him to reconnect with his family, especially since I thought it would be meaningful to have them be part of our wedding.

They reconnected, and things seemed okay until I left for a pre-planned one-month Europe trip in February. I had rented a home for us, set it up from scratch, and was covering the rent, deposit, groceries, bills everything since he wasn’t earning at the time. I thought this trip would also give him time to reconnect with his family.

But while I was away, he started talking less. It felt strange. I missed him so much and oddly, that short absence felt more distant than the years of long distance we had already survived. I felt it was because he was low due to losing his job and having to shift back, so i gave him space.

When I came back in March, he returned to our home with his parents to meet mine. During that visit, his mother made a demand: I was expected to contribute my savings toward buying a house but in her name. When I (and my family) refused, she turned cold instantly. She began manipulating him planting doubts, questioning whether he was being looked after, making him feel small and uncertain.

I was working full time, managing the home, paying every bill yet she turned that into a weakness. She convinced him that the only path to "security" was buying that house, together, under her name.

When I called this out as manipulative and unreasonable, he didn’t defend me. He didn’t even speak. He just slowly began withdrawing. No conversations. No fights. Just silence. And then one day, he left. Emotionally gone. Physically absent. No goodbye. No apology. No explanation. The only thing he said was wo ghar mummy papa k baad humara hi to hoga.

He later came only to collect his things. And he was a numb, cold person. He felt different as if nothing was bothering him while my heart was breaking, i was having physical anxiety symptoms breakdowns and needed medical help cause of the anxiety attacks.

What breaks me is I never asked for much. While he was in the US, I used to send him money via PayPal, food via Uber Eats. After he moved here, I took care of everything. He used to earn 3X what I did back then, and still, I never expected anything from him not gifts, not grand gestures. I gave him care, love, loyalty and I asked only for presence and partnership in return.

It’s been almost 3 months. No call. No message. No closure. As if i dont exist in his world. The same person who was butt joint with me for all these years. We went through so much together. We grew up together.

I still love him. My heart still waits. It’s painful to admit, but it’s the truth. I have only thought about him every passing moment last 3 months. I am mourning him like a dead person cause the cold guy who came to collect his stuff wasn’t my boyfriend. How could someone do a 350 degree personality flip.

When i insisted him early on to get in touch with his family again i remember him saying “main khud ko maar dunga par mujhe unke paas mat bhej”

I keep asking myself—what could I have done differently? Was I stupid for making him reconnect with his family? Did i do this to myself!? Did I love blindly? Did I mistake enabling for loyalty? Every day i question my decision. I am madly in love with him and his actions no matter what he does doesnt change this feeling. He was it for me. I know id never be able to date love marry again.

I would be grateful for your perspective to find my answers. How could he change? Why did he leave me? How could he go from “mujhe wahan mat bhej, main mar jaunga” to “i choose my mom”

Will he realise? Will he come back? Will i get a happy ending?

I’m not just grieving the relationship. I’m grieving the future I thought we had. I am grieving the person he was. Nothing makes sense whatsoever.