UPDATE: I don’t wanna forgive my mom after I became hyper sexual because of her abuse.

I just wanna thank everyone for the support. My last post got taken down, but it’s ok. This update isn’t gonna be very large at all. I still feel pretty bad, but it also feels nice to have other people tell me I’m not insane for once.

I tried to talk to the counselor today. I didn’t tell her what I talked about in my last post, but I told her me and my mom were having some problems, and the backstory about me ending up in the mental hospital, just so we didn’t have to immediately get into the crazy stuff. She told me to just learn to communicate respectfully and avoid my mom, because I’d have to be with her for the next four years. oh my god. OH MY GOD. I already do that. What else am I supposed to do?! Nothing changes!

I’m not gonna lie, I was seriously considering just doing some bad thoughts, again. (i know super bad). But I’m so tired of hearing this. What else do I do? WHAT DO I DO. I only stopped having the thoughts because I had a short period of happiness—as usual, and I have a test tomorrow. I’m getting very tired. People keep telling me to just choose peace, she’s the one making things hostile! I already don’t wanna speak to her. I can’t imagine the next 4 years with her. I never told about what happened to me, I don’t wanna get taken away and put my family at risk. I don’t have anyone else really, plus we don’t have a lot of money. But that’s pretty much it. Don’t know what to do. :(