hurt someone, how to move on?

I’ve been struggling with a lot of guilt and regret and needed to reach out somewhere for advice. For nearly three years, I was in a complicated, on-and-off relationship. We would stop talking for months at a time, but we always ended up breaking no contact. due to religion we never were fully committed or official if that makes sense. During those years (around age 17 to 19), I felt lost in many ways. I really loved her. But I had this immature mindset that because we weren’t officially committed, I wasn’t fully accountable for my actions yet. I now realize how wrong that was, and if you’re serious about someone, you either commit or let them go. But we weren’t even at an age where marriage was realistic, which is the only way our parents would’ve approved.

About four months ago, I made a huge mistake. I ran into someone from my old school who used to have a thing for me at a bar, and in a moment of complete weakness and lust, we made out. I stopped myself and cut things off right after, but it was too late. The guilt hit me hard. I felt sick with myself. I had already been living in a way that didn’t reflect the person I wanted to be since i went to college. My environment and some of the influences around me contributed to it, things like porn addiction and the way I viewed women, and being surrounded by the wrong crowd, but at the end of the day, it was my choice, and I take full accountability.

that choice ended our relationship. She forgave me, which I’ll always be grateful for, but we knew we couldn’t continue. And honestly, that heartbreak changed everything for me. It made me reflect deeply. I started thinking about the kind of man I actually want to become. I want to be someone who is grounded, disciplined, emotionally strong, and capable of treating a woman the way she deserves.

I’ve been working on becoming better and removing all forms of lust for my life,, and improving in terms of character. But despite all that, everyday the guilt lingers in my mind and i hate myself for hurting her. I miss her a lot. i really thought I would marry her, and it pains me knowing i messed it all up. i feel like I don’t deserve love again. I hate who I used to be and sometimes wonder if someone like me can ever be worthy of something pure. I want to believe I can love someone in a healthy way one day, and be a loyal, supportive partner. But i wake up feeling like my past is why I’ll never find love again

how do you deal with this kind of guilt? Is it possible to truly forgive yourself and move forward? Can someone who’s done something like this still be worthy of love again? Any advice would mean a lot.