does anyone else not want to get better?

for some context, i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about a month ago. Im doing therapy and i have all i could ever need in order to stop; supporting friends, a loving family, better coping mechanisms i could be using, etc.

i just dont want to stop. i dont exactly know why, ive used cutting as a coping mechanism for almost 4 years now, so that probably has something to do with it. it just feels so good, despite the fact there are other things i could be doing that feel equally as good, i always come back to self harm.

anyways, not quite sure what im trying to accomplish with this post, probably just some validation and i really hope im not alone in this.