Since I get bullied at almost every job, I am trying to identify the bully in every new workplace. Thoughts on her behavior?
"Sarah" (mid 40s F) is my (late 20s F) team lead (not my supervisor). The first day I met her, she didn't make eye contact. She was also a bit cold, but I figured she was busy or just didn't like my fragrance.
The next time I see Sarah, she is a bit more smiley and receptive. I figured she finally got some rest. Her warmth fades away after a bit and she is back to her baseline. Understandable. She wasn't rude, just a bit detached. She's no-non sense and I can respect that. She did her job role in helping me.
I will admit that I sensed a bit of envy from our interactions, but like we all do, I dismissed my intuition.
A few weeks later, she invites all of us out to breakfast (I definitely erred by accepting the invite... sigh).
I was late because I got pulled over. She did this weird smile of glee when I told her. I brush it off again and keep going. She is friendly enough.
But her friendliness turned slightly invasive. She asked me about the staffing agency I used and she asked me how the benefits are. I answer and we have a normal chat about that. Then she blurts out my pay rate to the rest of my employees. She basically is pocket watching. I am getting paid much more than the other people with my same job role who have been doing the position for many years. (But I don't get the benefits, yadda yadda). I get paid almost as much as her for less work that she does.
I jokingly said "don't say how much I make in front of everyone!"
I have impostor syndrome, so I do a lot of work to make sure I am a competent employee. During the breakfast with my coworkers, I realized how I probably know more than what is necessary to do my job. I have anxiety, so I like to be prepared.
Every time I shared something that was a normal part of our job title, my coworkers had no idea what I was talking about and joked about my knowledge being too vast.
I mention that because that is when I realized that Sarah might be threatened by me.
I'm going to keep my distance, but I'd love your thoughts.
And what are YOUR experiences with "screening" for bullies before they get to you?
Posted Aug 5, 2025, 10:10 PM UTC