I (21TF) made a grindr account

I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman (21F) who i love with all my heart and i would never want to hurt or do her wrong. this week, however, ive had these really intense feelings of lust that i just cant get over. I downloaded grindr and found a guy with a fat cock and went to meet up with him, but i said something about being in a relationship and suddenly felt an overwhelming guilt wash over me. I cancelled our meet up and deleted my account but i just want to go back and be used so desperately. idrk what to do.