i’m sleeping all the time because i’m scared to be awake

it’s getting bad again and idk what to do anymore. i’m spending most of my free time asleep because if im awake i just end up obsessing. i freak out over almost every social interaction looking for bias and prejudice, and i think sometimes i come off as racist because i’m literally trying so hard not to be i forget how to like, interact. i can’t even use my good old escapism most of the time because then i start freaking out about what i like (ie, why do i like this show more than a more diverse one? should i watch a more diverse show even tho i know im going to spend the whole time fighting intrusive thoughts? am i a terrible person for not watching/reading diverse media?). like, i just want to read my angsty fanfiction is peace and pretend im not constantly anxious, but even that is another way i convince myself im racist/homophobic/generally a terrible person. everything i do and think has to be analyzed and broken down, and i can’t tell if my thoughts are real or not. i’m not suicidal, but im getting to the point where sleeping is the only time i get peace and i don’t like being awake. i’m just tired, i guess. my summer class just ended, and i should be excited about having a few weeks off before fall classes, but instead im dreading the free time.