Spiraled Since Last Month

I started a calorie deficit and working out more in late June. I was doing okay, but then I broke on July 5th after all the distractions around Independence Day — family cookouts, food everywhere, people saying “don’t worry, it’s just one day.”

But it wasn’t just one day. That one day turned into a week, and now I’ve spiraled. I’m more obese than I was before. I look in the mirror and cry. I feel disgusting. I feel like society only values people who are glamorous, fit, and beautiful — and I feel like I’m so far away from that.

I hate how quickly I lose focus. I hate how I feel like a failure just two weeks into trying. I thought I could change. Now I’m not so sure.

I want to get back on track. I just don’t know how. Has anyone else broken and gotten back up? Does it get better?