Dissociation at new job. Forgot I dissociate. Totally forgot other alters existed. Does this happen to anyone else?

I forgot I even dissociate. I’m new to this group so please be nice. I forgot I have “alters”. I’m back to main now, who’s aware I have the disability. Idk why I forget. I don’t know what I did at the new job. No memory. The reason I realize something went wrong at the job was because I was in the store and was lost. I didn’t know where the entrance or exit was. I didn’t know where my keys were. I forgot my coworkers. I couldn’t remember where I parked. It was really scary. I came straight home as soon as I found my keys. I called my boss and lied and said I went to the doctor when I didn’t and I’m okay. I keep making this whole situation worse. I shouldn’t have even called back. I hate having a disability. I’d really like to be normal like other people & not feel like I’m still stuck in high school and never get to become an adult. Point is, I got a new job, and the disability is showing. I am still dissociated because I want to come up with a new person in my head or just be my high school self again. I don’t even recognize the person I was last year. But I remember that feeling. It’s the feelings that stay, not so much what I can or can’t do. Anyways, I guess the point is I can’t hold a job because of my disability, and I’m trying and I keep failing. The best way for me to get thru a new job is to let one of my alters take over, because my main is too disabled. So I’m going to have to accept this and go to my other alters if I want a job. Idk how any of this makes sense. I know my parent has mentioned plenty of times how I don’t have to work, and I can get on disability. But that just makes me feel even more like a child.

I never get to grow up or do adult things. Idk if any of this makes sense, but basically I’m very aware I have a disability, but sometimes I forget what it even is.

Is it an alter that I want to accept my old high school personality and let this one go? I mean it’s not really a “choice”. It is kinda like I’m rewatching the same movie I already watched.

Time to rewatch the same movie.

This isn’t fun. I’m stressed out.