I can't believe I relapsed.

I was doing so well. I was supposed to stay clean until at least my birthday.

I didn't.

I feel so stupid. I could have prevented it. But no.

I was in such a horrid mood today, I despised myself so much today (I normally despise myself everyday, but today I genuinely wanted to hurt myself somehow, so I watched porn to feel bad)

Maybe in another life I'll break the cycle.