(M26) I feel like over the years of being FA has turned me into a complete degenerate, and I've come at peace with it.

I got to a point, like most of everyone in this sub, where I just have given up on the idea that I will ever be loved. Like to the point where I see literally no point in trying to pursue a romantic relationship. It seemed like no matter how much I tried, I would get the same results. No matter how much I improved my physical appearance, it wasn't enough. Money wasn't an issue for me but it seemed to attract more users or potential users than anything else. They never gave a shit about me and this kind of thing right here has made me extremely paranoid which you can say is also harming my chances of finding a relationship. But I'd rather just not risk it.

With all that said I kinda just gave up not just on love and relationships, but the idea of having a fulfilling life in general. But I made peace with that idea. So I kinda just, stopped caring. About a lot of things, my physical well-being, my mental well-being which was already in the toilet, but I stopped taking my treatments for it. And now a days for the last like 5 years or so, when I'm not going to work, I'm literally just in my room all day playing video games, ordering Uber eats, and then maybe spanking my monkey to hentai. I live with my parents and in my room I pretty much live like a complete animal. There's times but not very frequently where I just neglect my hygiene just so I can have more time to screw around and play video games. Why try when I can't get the results that I desire? But I got use to it, and because of it, I found some variation of peace.