Me (F28) and my Husband (M29) have been together for 8 years. I love him dearly however he is the messiest person on the planet. Let me preface all this by saying I am by no means a super clean and tidy person myself, but I do the basics like laundry, trash, dishes, etc—basic household things. 

My husband on the other hand, leaves his clothes all over our very small bedroom, the bathroom floor, and sometimes the kitchen. There’s beer cans all over the shower. He’ll open Amazon packages and leave the packages right where he opened them. He’ll go into my office for stamps and literally forget to close the dresser drawer where he got them from. 

I’ve tried telling him that this is a space we cohabitate in and it’s unfair for me to have to live like this. I’ve had this conversation so many times that it has now turned into “I feel like you don’t respect me because you know how much I tell you to please pick up after yourself and you never do it and that feels like you don’t care about me or my wishes”. He defaults to “you only care about the mess when you’re stressed out” this is not true lol I care about it all the time but I explode about it when I’m at a breaking point. 

I talked to my therapist about this who suggested to just…leave the mess and not pick up after him thinking that eventually he’ll have to pick it up (spoiler alert…he never picked things up”. 

It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m his mother. I love this man to death and I consider this issue his only real flaw. Otherwise he’s wonderful. So perhaps I just need to let it go and pick my battles? 

AIO About My Husbands Messiness?