It’s officially done.

I (31F) have finally found the strength and self awareness to end my relationship (9 years together, 7 married) with my husband (35M).

I knew it a long time ago that we were different but compatible as long as we kept working at it. I adapted to his likes and his hobbies while maintaining my independence, but he has not reciprocated that or if he did it was only after I BEGGED and then it felt like forced participation.

I have pulled the emotional weight from the beginning. He never dated anyone before me and never had to learn how to love someone in a way other than the way he was shown - a very controlling father, a very submissive mother, strict Baptist household - and I am nothing like that and I can’t survive in that type of environment anymore. I have always pushed to keep working at our marriage but he’s gotten complacent and has shown some effort but it is not even bare minimum.

And I’m absolutely guilty for letting him get complacent. I saw it happening and all I did was remind him that we needed to keep working at it but I didn’t push him either. I’m just not the type, I’m the ‘let them show you their energy and effort’ type and it’s been 9 years and I’m done waiting to see the effort.

I’m going to discuss separating with him this week. I just want my fur babies. I expect this to end in divorce but obviously I’m still hopeful that he’ll snap to and get his head straight and start fighting to get us back on track.

In the meantime, I’m thinking about taking a solo vacation to Maine for a weekend. Just having slow days at cafe’s reading books and relaxing.

I hate to be here, but I’m glad that there’s women who have happy ever afters after divorces. Anyone else going through this and if so have any advice?