I tell myself to quit everyday on life yet here I am. Lonely .

I think the saddest thing in life is to miss out on something that will never happen again. Why is it that people use and abuse then throw away when they have there fill? I fight daily to stay alive even . Ive overcome so much and I just cant find a way to be happy . Relationships are not that hard . Os it the people I choose or what ? Im 43 and broken . I need some conversation .