I just rode the bus with my rapist

My heart sank and I shut down immediately. Got down and obsessively started to look him up on social media hoping that wasn’t him even though it was him. Didn’t find him because I have very little information. First time after almost 3 years and I never prepared myself for that moment. I just started getting better about not being so hyper vigilant outside and now I feel like I can’t leave my apartment. I don’t know what I need to feel better but I want this to just go away.