my current intrusive thoughts are just being offensive 😭

i think sharing this might help me feel a bit less ashamed and make progress towards getting over it, so here it is.

there was an incident a week or two ago in which my friend found out a white guy she liked was racist and saying the n-word. for whatever reason, that triggered something in me and now i CANNOT stop having racist intrusive thoughts, slurs popping into my mind, etc. i'm a non-binary lesbian and i'm even getting homophobic intrusive thoughts 😭 like i obviously know that i am not a bigoted individual and i don't agree with any of these thoughts, but they keep pestering me. i feel so horrible and ashamed. plus, i also am always afraid that i'm going to accidentally blurt out a slur. really, really annoying.

anyone else get these type of intrusive thoughts? i feel like they're not talked about enough because they're so problematic and embarrassing