Relapsed after almost two years no nicotine whatsoever.

Quit smoking altogether November 2023. Stuck to it amazingly. Never looked back. Then last month my three year relationship ended. I flew to New York to see some old friends and get my mind off of things. Friend was smoking a cigarette. In my drunken state I asked for one. I really wanted it. Cut to three weeks later, have smoked at least 3 packs of cigarettes, been getting drunk more than usual. Just bought my first vape in almost TWO YEARS. What am I doing? I know I’ll quit again. It’s helping me right now, but I know I’m only telling myself that. I’m a health conscious vegan dude in his mid 20s. I have so much more to offer than this. Sorry for the excessive trauma dump.