AIO Friend asked if I have a therapist to schedule with

I (38F) have been friends with Maddy(34F) for over 10 years. I recently cancelled a trip I was very much looking forward to just due to money. I’m single and live alone in a studio apartment, working two jobs to hold life down. I’m often super tired and engage with friends every so often. She is married with a young teen, doesn’t work in the summers (by choice & ability) and lives in an affluent area.

While I let work know I am now available, I wasn’t scheduled for any shifts. Though initially panicked, I was able to pick up a couple shifts from colleagues. I sent her a text letting her know I’m planning to go on an overnight camping adventure despite, using the time off for a “staycation”, inviting her along and stated “I’m having a bit of a breakdown about money but know a getaway will reground me”. We both enjoy the outdoors and haven’t been able to go camping yet this summer.

I have always struggled with depression since my teenage years but take medication and it has changed my life greatly. I have gone to therapy off & on throughout the years (after losing my mother and when a long-term relationship ended). I was also diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood which also explains my struggles.

Her reply to my text was “Don’t take this the wrong way, but do you have a therapist you can schedule with?”, referring to my comment about having a breakdown. I replied that I was fine and I’m merely feeling stressed about money, which is somewhat out of my control. I took a few hours and texted her again stating that I knew she meant well but I am hurt by her inquiry, adding I thrive in friendships where space can be provided for feelings and that I can’t tell if its an inability or unwillingness on her end to hold space. I have experienced her withdraw when I am having a hard time (cancelling plans) and rarely expressing concern or empathy when I share.

She does believe she is on the spectrum and is rather blunt in her responses and tone can be interpreted as harsh. We spoke earlier this week about a new job I’m interested in and her response was doubting vs. supportive. We have our challenges over the years and it seems to be escalating 😞