Feeling conflicted

To start this off, I am 23 years old, and when I was a kid, I did go to church (Baptist) and I remember some things from my time in church, but not much. I won’t say I was the best at following the bible, but I was a kid raised in a household where god was believed in but not put first, family always came first.

I stopped going when I was fourteen for a number of reasons, but it mainly hit me when listening to several people discuss that science and medicine are rather irrelevant and more faith should be put into god and Jesus. I disagreed with this staunchly, and after having been told life was basically pre-ordained, I just felt rather put-off by everything.

My beliefs on the presence of science is that god allowed us to find understanding in the world to further ourselves, same with medicine. The latter, predestination, I believe is rather strange. I’d be more inclined to believe that God sets choices for us in life, which while those choices are pre-ordained, the outcome is our own. Another thing I believe is that family comes first, but that is just a mindset I grew up with.

Recently I have felt rather conflicted. It was something dumb, a passing comment from a friend when I was ranting about dating where she mentioned “Someone will walk into your life, just wait.” The next day, I actually did walk into someone. She’s religious, which is perfectly fine by me, but the other night, it randomly hit me the weird coincidence of the quote and religion, something I realized myself.

Now I’m stuck. I still stand by my beliefs, but at the same time, I’m wondering if this is a sign to return to church and build a bond with god and someone at the same time. Is it common to not entirely believe in the bible? Is it acceptable to not fully believe in the bible? Is it better to not mention that in church since I am trying to return to the church my family goes to?

(I posted this on my secondary account just in case any of my family may follow this feed and recognized my username)