when to give up

This may be a very depressing post but im at my breaking point. I’m sorry if it comes off as woe is me, my life is not miserable but it’s not what I thought I was meant to do.

For any singles out there, when do you give up ? I ( 23F ) have not had the best luck with dating and love. Even after doing the “check list” of : being pure ( still a virgin, haven’t even kissed anyone in three years ), going on dates, scoping out partners, putting God first, being content in singleness for years….But im not content anymore.

I have never been romantically outwardly loved. Not once. Didn’t date in high school, picked the wrong people after that and now even with people that were compatible & safe- it just never works out ( wrong timing, grief, long distance). To never be committed to, to go years without being held, no romantic gestures…it’s hard.

It’s breaking my heart everyday. My biggest dream is to be a stay-at-home wife and or mother. No, that won’t solve all of my problems. But it has felt like a calling. I am capable on my own but I don’t want to be on my own forever, especially while I’m young. I like being submissive & being a “servant”, I dream of being protected & supported. And here I am thinking about my career that I don’t want & buying a house that God might not ever fill with children.

I’m tired. I try not to judge others but I watch God bless unions that have the wrong foundations all the time, out of His mercy. Does it even pay to follow Gods plan in dating ? It has gotten me no where. He doesn’t care for a second that im trying, to do the right thing and to trust him. He doesn’t care that I’ve been working on myself, that I’ve lost weight to be healthier, that I’ve been practicing cooking, that im financially responsible….i am trying.

Even praying to take this dream for me has done nothing. I’m out of prayers. I’m tired of putting myself out there. I’m tired of believing that He cares about my emotional wellbeing. So how does one just except that He doesn’t think you’re good enough for marriage & a family ? That’s a much easier pill to swallow than sitting here hoping for something that will never come.

TLDR: when does one stop praying for love & companionship ? what kind of prayer can you pray to make God take your goals away ?