Conflicting feelings of being lonely but wanting to be alone

I hope this is understandable but I've always found it so hard to make friends. I'm 21F and my best friends are my favourite teddy, my dog and my boyfriend. I've always wanted a big group of girl friends but I feel my interests conflict with a lot of girls my age and I'm so fucking awkward and sometimes wish it was easier to make friends with other girls. But because making friends is kinda scary I become content with my teddies and doggo and it becomes like almost too comfortable so I stay with what I know and feel comfortable with this. Its like this constant cycle of wanting more friends because I'm lonely but getting knocked down and enjoying time alone but then feeling more lonely.