Dotty's first ever post

Halfway through writing this I drifted off the reservation and got too personal.  Mack read it and said it was wonderful and urged me to post it anyway. He said you guys would understand.   

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This is fun, I’m writing my own post.

I came to visit Mack in his study after I heard the printer whirl up.  When the printer whirls up it means he’s finished his deadline.  So I brought him a coffee because that’s what I do.

We’re both unwinding after our big city getaway.  While we were sitting here, he showed me the posts he wrote from the city and I asked if he was going to post another now that we’re home.  He said not right now, but then told me that I should.  He was being cheeky. 

Challenge accepted.

So now he’s sitting in my chair and I’m sitting in his.  He’s reading work stuff as I type.  I like these times.

We had a wonderful time and I loved it.  I didn’t think I would.  It started out a little sketchy when we got to the apartment I rented.   It was so tiny, I felt so bad.  But when I looked at Mack, he was happy.  This is huge! He said.  It had a kitchen in a closet with these floppy doors and you could close it off.  The bed came down from the wall but you had to move a table first.  But Mack told me it was a typical New York apartment and that it was great.  It was actually really nice, just small.  After a day or two, it really was fun.

It was in a really amazing part of town where he used to live with the Metropolitan Museum of Art at the end of the street and the Duke house that Mack says is his favorite since he was like five.  He said he always wanted to live in it when he was a boy.  I asked him if he still does and he said no.  But he still loves it.  I’ll have to make a link to it.

(several minutes later)  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_N._Duke_House

It is a wonderful city filled with amazing people and places.  Mack always said it was the whole world and that makes sense to me now.  There is a waiter at one of the places he goes to that we met and he’s in his 60’s now.  Mack has known him forever.  He has never left the island of Manhattan.  I asked him if he was serious and he said he was.  He asked why he would need to go anywhere when everything is there.  That was very strange to me but I didn’t say it.

We went to Mack’s home town in the outskirts and it was very different from what I imagined.  Suzie always spoke well of it and enjoyed visiting.  A lot of people Mack went to school with are still there.  I asked Mack why he left and all he said was “I wanted more.”  I’m really glad he left. 

I know this is really weird for me to say but he had a song with Suzie and I couldn’t stop hearing it when we were there.  She always told me how they danced to it on their second date.  Suzie was from Jersey.  I know it’s strange, but I told Mack that it was playing in my head the whole time we were in his old neighborhood.  It starts “I got no time for the corner boys, down on the street making all that noise.”  I couldn’t get it out of my head because when we visited, we met the real corner boys.  It came to life for me.  Wait, I’ll have to make a link to it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRXhDQXhdXE

Mack just looked up at me when the song played for a just a second as I clipped the link.  He asked me what I could possibly need that song for and I told him to hush.  This is my post.

Well, I just assured that this will not be posted to his blog thing but it can still be my journal.  I’m enjoying journaling.

I feel more a part of him after a week in his world.  He shared the spaces with me and the memories and I learned a lot.  It’s so interesting.  It’s really authentic for lack of a better word.  I’m from outside of Boston and it’s not the same, it isn’t even close.  By comparison, my town is quiet and boring.

He’s different in the city though.  Mack is always sweet and gentle, but he was so rushed when we were out and he was short with people and that’s so strange to me.  At the same time, he took such good care of me.  He was so sweet to me.  I guess I saw what he calls City Mack.  I like Farm Mack better and I told him that. 

The best part was coming home and Mack said so himself.  Dan’s car was in the driveway but we drove around to the yard and he did that on purpose.  He does it all the time.  That’s where you get greeted with chickens and teenagers.  He couldn’t wait to see the boys.

He asked them what Dan was doing here and PJ said “He’s keeping us out of the papers.”  I suppose that could be translated to he’s keeping them out of trouble.  At their age (they’re not little kids), we didn’t ask Dan to look in on them but neither of us were surprised that he did.  He made them dinner more than a few times.  He had dinner for us.

I was glad Dan was here and we had a really nice time telling him about the things we did.  Danny doesn’t like the city the way Mack does.  Mack always found that strange because Danny grew up in a city.  He said Bondy (where he grew up) was Sydney’s answer to Queens, but Dan says it’s different.  He would know.

I watched Mack and Dan sitting at the table together.  Mack rested his hand on Dan’s shoulder as they talked and they were just being them.  They’re like brothers.  I thought maybe Mack might leave me for the bright lights but I know he’ll never leave Dan ..LOL  (he won’t leave me)

I did ask that big question as we were driving home.  Would he be happier if he was back on 82^(nd) Street?  He told me absolutely not.  He told me that we all belong in the place where we’re loved.  Then he said he learned a lot about me this week too.  I asked him what, and he hesitated.  Then he said it was best that I remain an out-of-towner.  We laughed.  But we’ll unpack that later.  LOL it will be one of those “what did you mean by that” moments he hates so much.

I think for a long time Mack truly missed the city and I know the farm wasn’t a choice he would have made.  And I know for a long time he used humor to make up the difference, even with Suzie.  His complaining was a lot about a loving banter, it was how they teased, but I think there was some truth to it.  But I believe him now when he says he’s happy here.  You would too if you had to see him, after we were home, when he stepped up to the fence rail and called for Gene Kelly.  “Hey Bull!!  Hey you old fat bastard!”  Gene isn’t very elegant, but at the sound of Mack’s voice, he lumbered quick as he could.  Mack scratched him as Gene twisted his head to expose that one spot he needed itched the most.  That was a really nice moment.  He loves the animals.

Mack left me alone here a short while ago but I can hear him debating with Jon-Jon over something.  I think I’d have to be a poet to describe their relationship.  As a mom, all I know is that Jon needed him.  And he’s safe now. 

It was a good trip.  And maybe Mack will share the autopsy with me … wait … that’s not what he calls it.  (I just shouted out asking what he calls it)  “The postmortem.”  Maybe he will share the postmortem with me, because I know he’s already written it. 

It was a good trip.  But I think we’re both glad to be home.