Trauma bond is broken, but the pain and obsession won’t stop

I’m over two years out of a toxic relationship with someone who clearly had narcissistic and psychopathic traits. The relationship was emotionally abusive, and the breakup left me deeply traumatized.

I did the work: trauma education, affirmations, rebuilding self-worth and so on. I’ve stopped blaming myself. I understand the trauma bond. I even feel love and compassion for myself now.

And yet… I’m haunted. I still think about him every day. Still secretly hope for an apology or a message, even though I know it’ll never come. He told me I’d never get closure, and he was right. I’ve tried to accept that his behavior is closure.

But my body still reacts - every car like his, every party I wonder if he’ll show up. I don’t even like him. I despise what he did. But why won’t my mind move on?

If you’ve healed from a similar situation, how did you silence the obsessive thoughts/limerence and grief years later?